18 Hits from Swill (Best of Volume 1)

by The Tone Deaf Pig-Dogs

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about

A collection of songs from "Can of Whoop-Ass" 7 inch (1995), "Too Early to Tell, Too Late to Give a Shit" 7 Inch (1997), "Saved by the Bail" LP (1999) and a few Bonus Track from "Tone Deaf and Disorderly" LP (1993)

credits

released October 6, 2015

Mike Nickerson - Vocals/Guitar
The Reverend James T. Warbington - Guitar/Vocals
Dom Solo Totino - Bass
Adam Funaro - Drums
Kevin ZeeNose (aka cranky mcFukStick) - Guitar/Drums

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about

The Tone Deaf Pig-Dogs Atlanta, Georgia

The TOne Deaf Pig-Dogs form in 1989 in Atlanta, Georgia- breaking up in 2000. Later revived with founding member Mike Nickerson and Main Member Dom Totino (with Reverend Jasper's Blessing and him egging them on) reformed and continued until 2013 releasing the Ill Relevant E.P. - which the band now sits on Hiatus, because trust me....this ain't the last you've seen of the Pig-Dogs. ... more

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Track Name: Hate My House
It’s so Nice, It’s So Clean and it makes me wanna scream
Mom hates Dad and Dad hate’s Mom
Always bitching about who is wrong
I hate my house, and I’m gonna burn it down
And I’ll burn yours too when you’re not around
Little Sister’s Doing Drugs, I’m Hanging out with Old School Punks
Live next door to Michael Bolton, he had nice furniture
So we stole it
I hate my house and I’m gonna burn it down
And I’ll burn yours too when you’re not around
I can’t live there anymore, My mom is a fucking whore
Dad got pissed and hit my mouth,
So I don’t care if I get kicked out
I hate my House.
Track Name: (I Met a Girl) 40 Ounce Love Affair
I met a girl and her name was beer
I think I got the message pretty clear
She screamed take me down, and all you hear was slurping sounds
And the pink elephants appeared
I met a girl, I met a girl, I met a girl
And her name was beer
I spent my last dollar on her
I couldn’t resist that shapely figure
Don’t recall how she tasted, no time with her was wasted
But the night is still kind of a blur
I met a girl, I met a Girl, I met a girl
And her name was beer
I was falling in love
I just couldn’t get enough
Of her 40 ounce Jugs!
I met a girl, I met a Girl, I met a girl
And her name was beer.
Track Name: Gonna Kill Yer Boyfriend
Hey Little Girl- You’re so fine!
I wonder how I can make you Mine?
I saw you hanging out with that other guy-
I guess that motherfucker is gonna die
Gonna Kill Yer Boyfriend so you can be mine
I got my Gun, I got my Knife
Now I’m gonna take your boyfriend’s Life
When you’re done mourning his death
You and me can go have sex
Gonna Kill Your Boyfriend, so you can be mine….
Now you won’t hang out with me
Because ya think that I’m fucking Looney
And I hear you got someone new
I guess I’m gonna have to kill him too
Track Name: Johnny B. Dead
Johnny stole my girl
He ran over my bike
He kicked my dog
I thought he was my friend
Hey Johnny……
Johnny broke my watch
He kicked me in the knee
Fucked my sister sue
Now he’s fucking dead
Hey Johnny……
I went to Johnny’s House
I went into his room
I looked under his bed
I got his fucking gun
Bang Johnny!
Track Name: Land of the Misfit Toys
They were thrown in the garbage when they didn’t sell
Shipped to the land of Misfit Toys where life was a living hell
Pick out of the trash can by a guy with green hair
Someone who knows how it feels when people don’t care
The Land of the Misfit Toys
Where I fit in just fine.
All those kids didn’t like them, Always putting ‘em down
Just because they were a little different, they didn’t want them around
Broken baby dolls without any arms, square wheels on a bike
A place where a Charlie in the box gets a shot at a normal life
The Land of the Misfit Toys
Where I fit in just fine
Track Name: Snot Nose Brat
Get the Fuck away from me – You’re just a fucking jerk
Mommy and Daddy’s fuck up put you on this earth
Got everything that you want- you wacky son of a bitch
You whiny ass dickhead you’re just a piece of shit
Snot Nose, Snot Nose Brat
You went to Jail one time, but your Daddy bought you out
If you don’t get your fucking way you’re gonna scream and pout
Cry and Moan and Complain to Support your selfish Ploys
Leave all the fuck alone we’re tired of the noise
Snot Nose, Snot Nose Brat
Get the fuck away from me you wacky son of a bitch
You whiny ass dickhead you’re just a piece of shit
You got everything that you could want you’re just a fucking jerk
Leave us all the fuck alone, you got your way since birth
Snot Nose, Snot nose brat.
Track Name: Jerkin Da Gerkin
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Beating My Meat
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Sliding the Snake
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Choking the Chicken
Jerkin Da Gerkin – My Snake’s a Spitting
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Wacking my Wiener
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Stroking my Peter
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Spanking the Monkey
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Slapping my Salami
I’m Jerkin, Jerkin Da Gerkin
Curb Check? (It’s there)
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Greasing the Shaft
(shut yo mouth, I’m just talking about Shaft)
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Paddling my Raft
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Polishing my Tool
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Shining my Jewel
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Grinding the Gopher
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Mixing Baby Batter
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Creaming the Corn
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Popping the Pork
You Want Fries with that?
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Twist and Shout
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Shooting the Spout
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Pounding the Spork
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Slingin my Cum
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Throbbin the Vein
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Massaging my Brain
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Fucking My Hand
Jerkin Da Gerkin – Bombing Japan
I’m Jerkin, Jerkin Da Gerkin
Track Name: 100% Bitch
You got me into this- because you bitch so much
I give and I give, but still I’m outta touch
You take, and You take, unless theres nothing left to do
Your Idle Perfect World would be a clone to you.
You’re 100% bitch
And you really make me sick
I don’t know what to say
To make you fucking go away
You ask for attention, yet you shift the blame
Wild Hungry Tigers are easier to tame
You walk around the town with your nose up in the sky
I hope it doesn’t rain too hard, because you’d drown and die
You’re 100% bitch
And you really make me sick
I don’t know what to say
To make you fucking go away
Track Name: Cassandra's Nutrition (bleed into 100% bitch V2.0)
She’s living her life on Nicotine and Hype
She just wants to see the early morning light
Everything that she consumes, comes from that silver spoon
Push it to the limit every morning night, and afternoon
Cassandra’s Nutrition- is just a suspicion and a bottle of cheap wine
Every day she gets fed up, we tell her to shut up and she just blows a few more lines
She’s had it with her boyfriend, because she wants to be more than a masturbation technique with a receptacle end
(at this point I gave up trying to figure out the lyrics….because playing this weird timing song that Mike wrote…..fucked with my head…..I am sure they kick ass though. Mike had a super talent for writing kick ass lyrics)
Track Name: Afraid Of You
You’re Not living now- Your Shadow got you scared
Use to the Attention but now none even cares
You’re dependant on anger to push you through the door
Everyone is so scare, but I can’t take no more
Making a small difference
Might just change your mind
Sometimes I am afraid
But I don’t run and hide
These Insecure feeling have wiped your pride clean
You fall a little short, from all of your dreams
Running out the door and put on a macho act
I may make mistakes but I don’t turn my back
Making a small difference
Might just change your mind
Sometimes I am afraid
But I don’t run and hide
Track Name: Count On It
You may not know it now- but in the end you’ll find it’s true
That the Martians have more weapons than the military troops
And you can tell late at night when you listen to 45’s
That the fucking beer is green and the dead attract flies
And you….
Can Count On it
Take this truth for a fact, all humans die someday
And monsters live in your closet and everyone is afraid
Time goes up and down- so why should you cry?
Fuck it, We’re all heroes in this shit we call life
And you….
Can Count On It
Track Name: Falling Down
Everything Happened Fast- I lost my Job, I lost my Cash
Not sure if I can learn not to be white trash
Cause the Money, I don’t have to spend
I can’t even pay the rent-
My last dollar bought the pen
I wrote this fucking song with
Yesterday I broke down
Yesterday I Broke Down
Yesterday I Broke Down
I am going home now
I feel like crawling out of this hole
But if you ask me I will tell you no
My life is so bad, I will probably die broke
And the keys to my car,
I shoulda tossed em from the start
It’s on the side of the road it never gets me very far
Yesterday I broke down
Yesterday I Broke Down
Yesterday I Broke Down
I am going home now
Track Name: Puke
I love you because You’re Cool
That is why I am so confused
Because when I think of Love
I always wanna Puke
Ahhhhhh
I hate love, but I don’t hate you
Ahhhhhh
When I think I Love I always wanna puke
And it’s OK if you don’t say
That you love me too
Because Love is Gross, and it makes me wanna puke
Ahhhhhh
I hate love, but I don’t hate you
Ahhhhhh
When I think I Love I always wanna puke
I didn’t know you were so cold
You’re like an Ice Cube
I don’t want your love, because it makes me wanna puke

(Original Puke- during the Red Tape Era where the guitar solo from 1994 version, we or shall I say I couldn’t play a guitar solo worth a fuck, still can’t. Mike Nickerson decided to tell a story- total improve which was hilarious about the Dumpsters (which we dove into often) next to the Barn we lived- with no running water, just a giant 400 Sq ft room- which was free to us, but costs about 1000 bucks in Canada btw, also known in Atlanta as The Taco Land, We, Me, Mike and Grant, Dubbed Taco Land, by the Dead Milkmen’s song taco land- which later was christened and honored by Joe Jack Talcum, AKA Jasper Thread, AKA Joe Genaro and we were given a full induction as the Taco Land #2- aside from the one in Texas- As we grew long in the tooth, the Milkmen would help us out from time to time- which we are forever truly honored and grateful!)
Track Name: Shambles
Greed what has it gotten you?
A Pent House on Park avenue?
Or Self Esteem, or anything?
Has it brought you all your dreams?
I just gave my car away-
You think I’m fucked up or insane
But all my life I have worked for Shit-
How much worse can it get?
I would never ask you for anything, anyway
I would never ask you for anything, no fucking way
You’re so proud because you own these pieces of wood you call your home
But me I live from week to week and hope I get the chance to eat
You see my life is not so great- but why the hell should I complain
Because all my life I worked for shit- how much worse can it get?
I would never ask you for anything, anyway
I would never ask you for anything, no fucking way
Track Name: Crybaby
Cry when you are happy- You cry when you are sad
Cry when you are happy and cray when you are mad
You cry about everything, everything lately….
You ain’t nothing but a crybaby
Cry, Cry, Cry- then you cry some more
We need to slam your face in the fucking door
So you can Cry…..Cry Some more
You cry about your life and that nobody cares
You’re really gonna cry when there is nothing left there
You cry about everything, everything lately….
You ain’t nothing but a crybaby
Cry, Cry, Cry- then you cry some more
We need to slam your face in the fucking door
So you can Cry…..Cry Some more
You cry about this and you cry about that
You are really gonna cry when you find out where you are at
You cry about everything, everything lately….
You ain’t nothing but a crybaby
Cry, Cry, Cry- then you cry some more
We need to slam your face in the fucking door
So you can Cry…..Cry Some more
Track Name: Earl Nix
I knew this guy from my High School, he was OK, he was pretty cool
The redneck that called me dude (instead of faggot or Satanist)
What a bunch of fucking fools
Whatever happened to Earl Nix?
I heard he was a lawyer or maybe a porn star.
I don’t know what he’s doing- but I hope he’s going far-
Whatever happened to Earl Nix?
I looked for him at graduation- and I couldn’t find him
So I went back to my house- and ate my girlfriend out.
Whatever happened to Earl Nix?
Track Name: Turn Around
What’s so Fucking great? About you and your life?
Feel a little bitter? And I’m wasting my time?
Everyone you’ve met has been a victim
You say that we’re friends but what about these contradictions?
I don’t want to watch my back every time I turn around
I thought I heard you say- You didn’t need me
I don’t know what I….should believe
There’s 2 sides to every story-
Pretend you’re an angel, but your lies fucking bored me
I don’t want to watch my back every time I turn around.
Track Name: Wild One (the Wildly One)
You gotta get the message....I'm a wild one....ohhhh yeah a Wild One.
Track Name: * Bonus- Head From Grannie
No Lyrics....it's gross and you can understand the words....and inspired by ZZ Top
Track Name: *Bonus - People In My Neighborhood
These Are the people in My Nieghborhood
Track Name: *Bonus - Conut the Hemorrhoid Conqueror
We were down in the valley infested with disease
A painful rectal itch was knocking use to our knees
After hours of thinking that we’d all be fucked
He burrowed up from the ground and said “Hi, I’m Conut”
Conut
We were all starting to believe our eyes
Could this be the hemorrhoid conqueror savior come to save our lives
We all knew this would happen, because we read the hieroglyphics
Well, except James, he just looked at the pictures-
Conut
He reach into his bag and pulled out a Jar
Said, ‘I have something to heal your asshole sores’
A Smile fell Upon us and we gladly shook his hand.
He was off in a flash- Believe it or not this happened.
Conut!!!! Cold Nuts!!!!
Track Name: *Bonus - Revolution In Hell
All together now......